the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
