i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I party with great urgency now.
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