im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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