He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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