How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
