It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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