Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize