So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
