Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
