Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
