Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont even know how to be here
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Randomize
