Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
