So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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