is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
