using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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