I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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