The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I enjoy the company of your penis
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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