Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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