i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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