Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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