I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You ate ashes out of my bong
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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