someone get that fucking seahorse.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
