awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
