apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
