i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
