I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
