I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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