East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
