So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
