I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize