Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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