i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
