A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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