if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize