He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Your penis caused this!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
