I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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