so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
