Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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