I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
