i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
