from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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