I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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