i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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