why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
