I'm lost and stupid without you.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have tasted many bathrooms
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
