Farmville is her only friend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
