The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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