you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
