maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
