Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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