It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
