I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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