nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You smell like stripper and shame
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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