marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
