If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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