im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
