I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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