Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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