Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
