Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
