She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
