he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize