He is an equal opportunity slut.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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