this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
