those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Houston, we have a blender
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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