that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
